Monday, February 14, 2011

Be My Valentine

Valentine's Day. A holiday officially begun near the end of the fifth century by Pope Gelasius I, Valentine's Day is intended to celebrate affection and esteem between lovers. According to tradition and the panepistemic capacity of Wikipedia researchers, St. Valentine lived in the third century and was martyred (beheaded) by Emperor Claudius II [Note: Some might consider the fact that St. Valentine lost his head as an iconic symbol of the effects of love in interpersonal relationships. In fact, they say that such a symbol could only be enhanced had the saint been subsequently castrated]

In recognition of this day, Charles Lamb wrote, "Thou comest attended with thousands and ten thousands of little Loves, and the air is 'brush'd with the hiss of rustling wing.' Singing Cupids are thy choristers and thy precentors; and instead of the crosier, the mystical arrow is borne before thee. In other words, this is the day on which those charming little missives, ycleped Valentines, cross and intercross each other" and "the weary and all forspent twopenny postman sinks beneath a load of embarassments not his own" (from Lamb's Essays of Elia).

By the way, in case you were wondering, Charles Lamb spent his entire life a bachelor, having been frustrated in his attempts to woo two separate women (Ann Simmons and Fanny Kelly), and lived all the while with his lunatic sister Mary with whom he authored the well-known collection Tales from Shakespeare. Such luck in matters of the heart would have, and has (I'm sure), embittered other, lesser individuals, who tend to regard Valentine's Day with a great deal of contempt and distaste, casting about ill-mannered unpleasantries like envenomed daggers to wound the spirits of those who feel the need to revel in the joy of a day dedicated to love.

Perhaps you know people like this. They are generally single and very, very alone. They spit anti-Valentine propaganda and bite "pretty red heart[s] in two" (from Sylvia Plath's "Daddy"). They complain that the day itself, instead of enhancing the quality of existent relationships and encouraging the increase of love and marital harmony, augments materialistic attitudes and only serves to provide more money for the grocery stores and florist shops and candy-makers and the baby-sitters and the three- to five-star hotels.

On the other hand, there are those who believe in the sentimentality of the day and accuse the accusers of jealousy and envy, saying that they perhaps don't get it because they aren't getting any. These people still put stock in love and effectively increase somebody else's stock in chocolate and flowers.

So which is the correct assessment of the merits of the day of love? Is it meaningful or meaningless? These sorts of questions are the reasons why statements such as "life is more successfully looked at from a single window" (from F. Scott Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby) can be defined as complete and utter bunk.

For me, I believe that Valentine's Day is, if nothing else, certainly worthwhile, even for single people like myself. Even if we haven't got a sweetheart or a Valentine to spend the day with, it serves as a reminder of things which transcend the dreariness of singlehood and reasons for removing ourself from this static state. Rather than give in to jealousy and covetousness by bad-mouthing it and the materialism which Valentine's Day, in all fairness, does seem to promote, perhaps we ought to work harder at finding our own happiness in love, regardless of past and present failures in that regard. Other people have the right to celebrate their love, and we have no right to put that down.

To those who follow the trends of society in celebrating the day of love by giving in to the chocolate and rose-petal cliches advertised by the specialty stores, I have one thing to say: while such things are a nice gesture of affection between significant others, they carry no weight if they are not an extension of your normal behavior. If you never do similar things for your partner or mate or boyfriend or girlfriend or whatever you want to call them, then Valentine's Day will be just as empty and hollow as the bitter and single people say it is. No amount of thoughtfulness one day out of the year can make up for 364 days of neglect and taking others for granted. So, make this day the rest of the year in a concentrated form. A day to celebrate the love and hard work not found in a bouquet of red, red roses or in box of chocolates or chalky conversation hearts.

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