Admiration Does Not Have to Be Secret

This morning at church, I received a supremely pleasant compliment from a woman with whom I had never spoken with more than once. She introduced herself, not knowing that I knew who she was, and told me that she admired me for something she had noticed about me. The declaration of her admiration for me in this thing was entirely unexpected, but it filled me with--I will not call it pride--a sort of additional awareness of internal well-being in knowing that I had done something or acted in such a way as to merit somebody's admiration. It made me think momentarily: why aren't more people more open about communicating their regard and respect for the people who have had an effect on them personally?

Now, it may be that delivering a compliment of this magnitude may make you feel awkward. Perhaps such a straight-forward declaration brings to mind the image of a spectacled bald man with sweaty armpits and a high squeaky voice saying things like "my dear little Margie, I'd make the world a ruby for your finger and say 'I love you, I love you, I love you'" (from Rodgers and Hammerstein's State Fair), or "you are my sunshine, / my only sunshine, / you make me happy when skies are gray." Such awkward encounters with such awkward individuals are better avoided than pursued. But these types of confessions, namely the making known of a certain level of respect and esteem for another, need not be confined solely to the geeky and the socially inept who are unable to look the intended in the eyes without breaking into hives. Everyone could, and everyone should, openly convey from time to time, without feeling awkward about it, their admiration for another.

The declaration of respect for another is a compliment of great significance which can be paid by one human being to another. It may even be seen as an act of service. Many people go about their routines every day, serving those with whom they come in contact and never receiving any recognition for their deeds. Though neither praise nor laud is sought by these people, do you not suppose that hearing "I admire you for such-and-such a thing" or "I respect you because you are such-and-such a way" could serve as a boost to their motivation to continue as they have, as though affirming that their path in life had been of some use to someone somewhere at sometime? Service and good deeds carry within themselves an innate recompense, it is true. However, it is nice to hear, every once in a while, that someone appreciates what you have done, even if such praise or admiration is unsolicited or unexpected. Some people will never know the magnitude of their influence on society and the individuals it harbors unless said individuals openly and unreservedly declare their gratitude and acknowledgement of that influence; whether that influence be small or large, it deserves recognition by those changed by it.