"Play that Funky Music"

Have you ever thought about compiling a soundtrack of your life? Some people have a theme song for themselves, but what about putting a whole string of them together on the same CD. Maybe you could have a song that represented a year or a period of time in your life. Maybe they would represent significant people, places, or events in your life. You can't put on songs just because you like them. No, no, no. Rascal Flatts' "Bless the Broken Road" is out for you people. You may like that song, but unless you have actually had a broken road at some point in your life, you cannot have that song on your life album.

Now, if you were to compile this album, which songs would be on your album, do you think? Led Zeppelin's "Kashmir"? Pink Floyd's "Another Hole in the Wall"? Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance"? Bert and Ernie's "Rubber Ducky"? Peter, Paul, and Mary's "Puff, the Magic Dragon"? More importantly, what would this soundtrack say about you? One would obviously have to be extremely careful about which tracks are put on the album; poorly chosen song choices will give the wrong idea about yourself.

So here are some things to consider when putting together your soundtrack.

If you put too much Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga, 50 Cent, Eminem, or Chris Brown on your album, not only will people think you are a freak but it will obvious that your taste in music, as well as your opinion of yourself, is sadly lacking.

If you add AC/DC songs like "Big Balls" and "She Shook Me All Night Long", everyone will think you are a liar.

Finally, if your album includes:

"Girl" by the Beatles
"Girls" by the Beastie Boys
"California Girls" by the Beach Boys
"Girls, Girls, Girls" by Elvis Presley
"My Girl" by the Temptations
"Young Girl" by Gary Puckett and the Union Gap
"White Girl" by USDA
"Jessie's Girl" by Rick Springfield
"China Girl" by David Bowie
"Orphan Girl" by Gillian Welch
"Uptown Girl" by Billy Joel
"Fat Bottom Girl" by Queen
"Some Girls Are Bigger than Others" by Smiths

You are no doubt either 1) a horny teenage boy, 2) the managing coordinator for an organization involving the work efforts of ladies of the evening, or 3) obsessed with songs that have the word "girl" in the title. My advice: branch out.